Addicted
by Allura01
Summary: Lacus is thrown into the middle of an endless war between two people. Not just any war, either, a battle of the hearts... Under the pressure the girl we all know, changes dramatically in a usless effort to save her breaking heart.


**Disclaimer – I do not own Gundam Seed… unfortunately for me…**

**Addicted**

**By Allura**

_A groan escaped her lips as he ran his hand, temptingly down her thigh, caressing it slowly with his long, muscular fingers._

"_No, don't…" She whispered coarsely, fumbling with the buttons on his cotton shirt. He smirked against her soft lips and opened his alluring amethyst eyes._

"_Don't? Well then, what do you propose we do instead?" Pulling away from the small squirming girl, he waited until she, too, opened her eyes._

_Bright azure eyes opened slowly to stare up at him in confusion, a misty haze of frustration and lust clouding the deep sea of blue._

"_I don't know…" She answered, pushing her – now messy – pink locks out of her flushed face, she raised her eyebrows and shrugged, staring at him with desire filled eyes._

_Kira laughed humorously and then, without warning, his face descended, hastily capturing her beautiful full lips and claiming her small bow-shaped mouth as his own. Biting gently on her bottom lip, he grinned as she gasped in surprise, allowing him entry into her sweet mouth, and sliding his tongue in gently, he deepened the kiss into a passionate promise of his affection._

_He grinned happily, as he pulled away from her again, his hot breath burning on her cheeks. _

_Staring into her mesmerizing eyes, breathing heavily, panting for air, he felt her warm body that was entwined with his, tug fiercely at his heartstrings._

"_But we always do this… And I know for one, that you love it…" He pressed his body tighter against hers as he said this, and it was quite clear to the girl that he was aroused by their passionate session._

_Lacus tried to stifle another moan. She hated the way her body reacted to his touch… the icy trail that his fingertips left against her skin… the way her body shuddered as he placed his soft lips onto hers… the way that she reciprocated his actions… the immense thrill of pleasure that coursed through her veins… she had a different reaction to everything that he did._

_She moaned softly as he slid a hot hand underneath her shirt; stroke her waist and then making his way to the small of her back, where he caressed her gently and sparking fiery reactions from her skin._

"_See?" He asked her, touching his forehead against hers, his hands still rummaging ardently over her body._

_Losing control, Lacus grabbed Kira's shirt collar, pulling him closer to her body and embracing him with a fiercely fervent kiss, she gave in to her temptation._

_Kira's hand moved smoothly up and down her thigh, hiking her skirt up slightly to give him more room._

_Lacus opened her eyes quickly, her heart still racing frantically in her chest, threatening to explode and her body still shaking from the lustrous passion that streamed through her bloodstream, tingling every nerve within her with a blissful ecstasy. Her senses tingled crazily, wanting more of the sensation that she was receiving from him. _

'_What is happening to me?" She asked herself silently._

_Her body was already obsessed, her mind utterly infatuated and her heart completely torn. Yes, torn… what she was doing was wrong… immoral… sinful… and she was disgustingly loving every minute of it._

_The torrid thoughts that were racing through his mind right at that moment were painfully agonizing. How he wished he could make his fantasies come true… but in a broom closet… maybe not such a great idea._

_Kira pulled away from her reluctantly, only to find that she was staring back at him, with a pained look of fear across her pretty face._

"_What's wrong?" He asked his voice deep and husky and his eyes heavily lidded from the deep kiss they had just shared._

"_I… I-I can't do this Kira." Her trembling voice was panicked and the distant look in her eyes told him that he had lost her. She wouldn't be his… ever… _

_He groaned, his head suddenly throbbing and his heart stopping… freezing, icily in his chest. Breathing tersely yet heavily he stared down at her with questioning eyes._

_Lacus inhaled deeply, breathing in the musky smell of his cologne and wanting desperately to kiss him again, to feel the pleasure she knew that she could get from him… but that was all… she wouldn't get anything else but pleasure… no love would be involved in the process._

"_I have to go-" she blurted out quickly before ducking under the arms that had, seconds ago, pinned her to the wall. Swooping underneath, and dodging his eyes she dashed out of the closet and into the open corridors of her school._

"_Dammit!" Kira groaned, slamming his fist, violently, against the wall before him, ridding himself of the frustrating anger that was twisting his crushed heart._

* * *

She always did that to him. Left him stranded, with a burning passion raging in his heart. At first she'd play along; smile back with a mischievous grin on her sweet face… throw him wistful, craving glances… groan when he slid his hand down her back… kiss him back. 

However, she would always refuse him in the end, leaving him confused, mystified and wounded.

He knew the reason though… her boyfriend, fiancé… his best friend. Somehow, Athrun had always found a way to mess up something in his life. Whether it was his sister, their friendship, or his heart… Athrun _always_ found a way.

_He_ wasn't enough for her though, otherwise, why else would she come running to him when times were tough, when Athrun, clearly wasn't giving her the attention that she needed.

Kira slipped his head between his hands, massaging his temples roughly with his callused fingertips. He glared at the wilting rose in front of him, the crimson red petals contrasting deeply with the pale colour of the room, darting all attention to its bloodstained vibrancy.

It was a never-ending story, the relationship between Lacus, Athrun and himself; Athrun would ignore Lacus or flirt with other girls and Lacus would come running to him. She always ran to him, in fact, she always ran, full stop. She was running from her fears, running from her dreams, and most of all, running from the truth. The truth being that fact that they were meant for each other, no matter what she thought; their destinies met and tangled into one long, happy future. If only she would open her damned eyes and realise that.

* * *

"_Our future?" Lacus looked up at him from behind the blood red rose spinning in her fingertips, the brilliant green leaves fluttering, dancing with the breeze, "What do you mean by _our_ future?" Her mysterious blue eyes twinkled curiously._

_The dark, unruly haired boy beside her smiled gently, capturing the rose in his hands, along with hers._

"_Our paths meet, don't you see, Lacus? We were meant to be…" Lacus shook her head sadly, staring up at her long-time friend from where she lay on the grass covered hilltop._

"_No… Kira, when will you give up this nonsensical idea?" She turned her compassionate eyes towards the bright blue, endless sky above her. "I agree, we have a… thing… but that's all, it can_ never_ emerge into something bigger, something better… you know exactly why."_

_Kira snorted, turning his head away from her so that she wouldn't see the pained look in his eyes. "Yeah, yeah… you love Athrun and would never do anything to hurt him." He replied coldly. He gazed down into the lavender meadows below them, and then further out into the small town, sitting peacefully, unaware of the tremendously agonizing emotions that were tearing and ripping callously… mercilessly at his heart._

"_I'm sorry Kira; I don't mean anything by it." Lacus apologized; her voice was so soft and gentle that Kira felt that a light breeze could easily carry it away._

"_You never do. Nothing about me _ever_ means anything to you… At least, that's what you say." Kira turned quickly to glare at her. How _dare_ she do this to him, he didn't deserve this._

_Lacus gasped, "What do you mean by that?" She asked defensively._

"_Exactly what you think I mean," He replied, his voice now distant and emotionless and his face a stoic mask of repression. "Come on, 'fess up… you felt something that day when I kissed you in school."_

_Lacus quickly darted her eyes to the ground, suddenly the way that the grass moved with the wind was much more appealing than this conversation._

_Kira noticed the blush that had crept to her pale face and grinned, winningly. "I knew it… and yet you still deny it. Keep running from it."_

"_I don't deny anything, Kira… you know how much I love Athrun…" Lacus protested, a fierce anger suddenly taking a strong grip on her mind._

"_Yeah, and he loves you so much, too. That's why you come running to me every time something happens." Kira retorted calmly. He simply sat on the ground, watching Lacus grow furious towards him._

_Lacus inhaled a deep shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves, "Don't you dare…"_

"_Tell the truth? Is that really such a crime, Lacus?" Kira raised his dark eyebrows enquiringly, a slight smirk gracing his lips, "Clarify something for me Lacus, will you? How many girls has Athrun kissed? Do you know?"_

"_No, I don't, but I trust him." Lacus insisted, her voice growing softer as she stared at her friend, her eyes pleading with him to stop._

"_That's not what you told me last year when you caught him-"_

"_He said he was sorry for that Kira, he said that he would never do it again… ever!" Lacus screamed, "I love him… I love him…" She fell into Kira's arms sobbing, her tears staining his clothes with her sadness.

* * *

_

"Lacus?"

A deep thought stirred the dazed, pink-haired girl from her reveries and she shot her head up to stare at the man, hovering over her and looking down at her with great concern apparent in his enchanting emerald green eyes.

"Are you okay?" Athrun asked, crouching down on his knees so that he could look at her properly.

"Yeah," Lacus started, shaking her head of long hair, stirring her reminiscing thoughts from her mind, "I was just… thinking…"

"About what?" Athrun asked, grabbing her pale, delicate hands and turning them over so that her palms were facing up.

"Just things… what ifs and stuff like that." Lacus replied; relaxing as her fiancé caressed her small hands with his, his thumbs running smoothly over her palms in millions of small circles.

Athrun sighed, he hated this conversation; it never did get them anywhere in their relationship, he glared down at the small band of silver, glistening in the dim light of the room, upon her thin finger.

"Do you love me, Athrun?" Lacus asked, staring into deep, sparkling, pools of liquid green.

"Huh?" Athrun snapped his attention up to her quickly, staring at her curiously with an expression of half-amusement and half-bewilderment. "You ask such random questions, Lacus…"

Lacus' eyes faded distinctly, the vibrant gleam evaporated, to be suddenly replaced with a sad glow of remorse and disappointment.

"So, you don't."

"Lacus," Athrun said sharply, "Don't be so ridiculous; I never said that I didn't."

"You never admitted that you did, either." Lacus replied casually, turning hr gaze away from him and out of the dark window.

The rain was lashing violently against the windowpane, and Lacus was thankful – for once- that she was indoors. The wind howled gloomily, down the fireplace, and the flames licked up the fresh oxygen with a gluttonous dance.

'He loved me…' She thought silently, staring into the hypnotic flames.

* * *

_A whirl of pink and white swirls, merged with the faint smell of vanilla danced past him, with a passionate anger that he knew only one girl could hold._

"_Lacus… wait… I'm sorry," Kira called out to the girl who was storming past him, ignoring his every word._

"_Sorry? Hah," She laughed bitterly. _

_Well, maybe not ignoring his every word. But at the least, she was brushing them off as if they meant nothing to her, again, another prime example of how the girl of his dreams saw him as nothing; the epitome of nothingness._

"_Lacus…" However, the rest of his speech was cut off when the beautiful girl before him spun around, glaring at him angrily._

"_Leave ME alone! Haven' you done enough already? You always try to ruin everything!" She cried, her fists clenched in the air as she repeatedly took he frustration out on the thin air in front of her._

'_Actually, Athrun ruins everything… I just try to fix it and somehow… I always get the blame.' Kira added silently._

_Kira smiled slightly, "Don't blame this on me, Lacus."_

"_I will and I am because it is your fault… you walk into my life one perfect day… and then it's suddenly spinning off its axis, and I cannot, for the life of me, get it back together again." Lacus tossed her long hair over her shoulder and it fluttered in the wind, dancing gracefully across her beautiful, cherubic face. _

"_Is this what you want, Kira? For me to be so confused that I hardly even know how to place one foot in front of the other… because you got it… you've messed me up s badly that I sometimes forget how to breathe."_

"_No." Kira replied stoically, his own hair dancing wildly in the wind, and whipping it – not so gracefully – across his solemn face._

"_No – what?" Lacus asked, suddenly more confused than she was in the beginning._

"_No, I don't want you to be like this; no, I didn't mean to mess up your life… just no. I'm sorry Lacus." Kira looked at the ground for a few seconds and Lacus' anger softened considerably. _

_He was broken… just as much as she was… was this what he meant by saying that their destinies were the same. Where they destined to be broken, unwanted toys for the rest of their lives?_

"_I just cared about you, okay? A lot." He tore his gaze from the ground and met her eyes with dull amethyst ones. _

_Where was the exciting sparkle in his eye that she had always liked to imagine that she put there… where was the contagious laughter that escaped his lips so often and brightened any atmosphere… where was that handsome smile that she always pretended was only for her. _

_They were gone. Lacus sighed, and ran a shaky hand through her long locks of light pink hair. "Past tense? That's nice Kira…" She turned away and started to walk away again._

"_No… WAIT! Lacus, you need to hear this!" He called after her._

"_No, Kira, I don't have to and frankly, I don't want to-"_

_Suddenly she was tackled to the ground with Kira's strong body hovering over the top of hers. She stared up at his handsome face, stunned at his actions, before glaring at him in dissatisfaction._

"_What do you THINK you are doing?" She cried, trying to shove his muscular chest away from hers._

"_No, hear me out…" his face was suddenly so close that she could feel his breath tickling her ears. A shiver bolted up and down her spine, causing her to tremble underneath the warmth of his body._

_Kira's dark hair fell in front of his eyes, giving him an ethereal, mysterious, dark aura and Lacus wondered, briefly, why he had been so addicted to her; with his handsome looks and amazing physique at the age of eighteen, he was already looking like an Adonis. Moreover, she was definitely not a beautiful Aphrodite… the goddess of beauty. _

_Why, with every girl tailing after him like lost puppy dogs, was he so interested in her, especially when he knew that she was engaged to his best friend. It just didn't make any sense._

"_I… I used to care, but now… now, I love you." Kira stared down at her seriously, his playful grin no longer adorning his face as he spoke the words that stopped her heart from pulsating altogether._

_It was as if somebody had strangled it, stopped it from living… beating… feeling. Her whole body became numb as her blood stopped flowing in her veins. Yet butterflies hatched from cocoons in her stomach, and fluttered around, enticing her nerves until they were jittering like loose strings in her limbs.

* * *

_

"You loved her, didn't you?" Lacus asked her fiancé who was still holding her hand, rather tightly.

"What – who?" Athrun asked, shocked at the strange questions that Lacus was throwing him.

"Cagalli… you loved her. But you gave her up, you had to." Lacus stared at him solemnly with a sad smile on her face.

"Yeah…" Athrun admitted, she was tugging on his heartstrings and he knew it. Although he couldn't stop himself from telling her, it was as if she was pushing a button within him that made him want to open up to her… open up and tell her _everything_.

* * *

"_You… you don't mean it…" She started, but her thoughts and ramblings were subsided by the feel of his mouth on hers. Everything drained out of her mind right then, and she was so shocked that she remained stationary, until a sudden flame ignited in her heart. It was a flame of desire… longing… lust, and most importantly… love. She kissed him back, with a raging passion; Kira's body pressed against hers, lowering her to the ground, with his hand behind her head, protecting her from the rough ground beneath them.

* * *

_

"I'm sorry, Lacus, but it's over now. She's gone." Athrun told her, still staring deeply into her eyes. His smile had dissipated as she tugged at his memories, forcing them to rise from a place that he had pushed them, locking them safely away.

"No, I'm sorry… it's all my fault-" Lacus started, but Athrun silenced her by holding a finger to her mouth.

"Don't say that." He told her, "It's not your fault. It was my own decision; I gave her up, because I was already betrothed to you. And not only because my father wanted me too, but because, I too, wanted to."

"But you never really _loved_ me, did you?" She asked, "All those times I caught you and Cagalli kissing, well I never really thought anything of it. I was so foolish…"

"I'm sorry, that must have really hurt," Athrun grimaced, looking down to the floor, however, he was forced to look up when Lacus tilted his chin, with her thumb and finger, towards her.

"Honestly? Not really…" Lacus admitted with a half smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I guess in a way, I wished that you would keep doing it. Love her… set me free…" Lacus sighed heavily. Memory lane wasn't a very pleasant place to be so far into your life. It was like a hell; once you strolled onto that dark, twisted street, you were doomed… stuck… trapped… never to be released.

Until you fix the errors in you life.

"You… didn't want this?" Athrun asked, looking slightly dismayed.

"Oh," Lacus gasped, "Don't get me wrong, Athrun, I loved you… at least, I believes I did, but unfortunately, I was-"

"In love with Kira…" Athrun finished for her, "You think I didn't catch all of those lilt sneaky glances that you were constantly shooting at each other?" Athrun grinned, "But I guess, like you, I pretended it didn't happen."

* * *

"_Now do you believe me?" Kira demanded once he had pulled away, "Now do you believe that I truly, do, love you?"_

"_No, no you don't… There's no such thing as love, Kira, no such thing… Athrun and I, we're meant to love each other, but… I don't know."_

_Kira leant in to continue there kiss… it seemed to be his way of telling her, that there really was no other way around it. He loved her and that was that._

_Lacus melted into his arms with one reply… I love you, too.

* * *

_

A young blonde-haired girl stepped quietly out of her shower, hot, steamy water, dripping hastily from her body and onto to the damp towel beneath her feet.

She sighed, basking in the beautiful aromatic scents of hot lavender.

A heavy knocking downstairs stirred her from her thoughts, and wrapping a warm towel tightly around her body, she began the slow decent to the bottom of the stairs.

"All right, all right, I'm coming," she called as the hammering against the hard wooden front door continued.

Tugging the heavy door open, Cagalli was met with a somewhat, pleasant shock.

"Hey, beautiful…" He greeted in a low, handsome voice.

"Athrun… oh my god…" Cagalli slammed the door shut, against the strong wind, once he was safely inside, "You're soaking, let me get you some fresh clothes…" she smiled kindly and upon noticing his leering stares, she added, "and get changed, too."

"Oh, no… you don't have to get changed for me, I like you just the way you are." Athrun laughed, smirking slightly. "Ouch!" He yelped when she whacked him over the head, "Chill, I was only joking."

* * *

"_Kira, I'm marrying Athrun… we can't do this," Lacus told him, pulling away from their intoxicating kiss._

"_Yes, we can… Lacus, it was a set-up, by your fathers; you don't have to stick by them." Kira told her, his eyes heavily lidded as he watched her beneath him._

"_No, Kira, I'm sorry…"

* * *

_

'I gave up, eventually I had to, I mean, stalking is illegal in over fifty states… and that's what I would be doing if I tagged along behind her any longer.

'So I let her go… Just like that, some would say. I was holding her down from doing whatever it was that she wanted to do… sing… get married, have little baby Lathrun's… whatever. But she was gone from my life from that day forward.

'But never… NEVER from my mind. I may be unfaithful to my soul, but never to my heart. I let her go, literally, but never mentally.

'I had lost something so precious to me that it tore me into little pieces, and I died… A small part of me died that day when I lost her… when I lost the thing I loved the most… the girl that never really belonged to me in the first place.

'And because she had never belonged to me, it made me miserable, and being the awful person that I am, I brought her down with me, or at least tried to… you know what they say, what you can't have is what you want the most.

'Cagalli once told me that I did the right thing, and I know that was hard for her to say too. She loved _him_, probably just as much as I loved _her_.

'Whoa, we really were 'birds of a feather' 'one of a kind', we were both broken twins, with very broken hearts. It must run in the family blood, lucky us… I pity my children, I really do.

'But whatever; when Cagalli told me that I was doing the right thing, she mentioned one other little thing, one other little quote that she seemed to be so fascinate with, one other little quote that I hate with all of my heart.

'You want to know why? Because it's a lie… pure lies… another one of those pathetic 'old wife's' tales,' Kira sighed deeply, and sunk further back into the armchair he was sitting in. He ran a shaky hand through his dark unruly locks.

'If you really love something… set it free… if it comes back to you, it was meant to be.

'My love for Lacus was real, and I believe that we were meant to be, but the thing is, she never did come back to me.'

The doorbell rang and shocked Kira from his deep thoughts.

'Maybe if I leave it, whoever it is will go away. Gawd, I hope it's not Rae, that girl is _obsessive_… seriously, I mean you think that I am bad… wait till you meet Rae, the girl who _thinks_ that she is my girlfriend, no matter how many times I tell her that she is, in fact, not. '

Reluctantly, Kira got up from his chair and sauntered slowly over to the door.

"Rae? Is that you? If it is, I'm serious; you have_ got_ to stop-" he froze mid-way through his sentence. His feet seemed to be glued to the floor and his whole body immobile.

"Are you going to let me in?" The girl, leaning against the doorframe, asked. "It's really cold and wet and really, really damn freezing out here."

"Uh, yeah," Kira stepped away from the door, letting the small girl pass him on her way in to his living room.

"So this," The girl signalled to the room as she shrugged out of the large jacket that she was wearing, "is where you've been living for the past two years?" She pulled down her drenched hood, to reveal a full head of glossy pink hair.

"Yeah, I guess so… How did you-" Kira started, but he was interrupted as the girl suddenly sidled up to him and placing her icy hands on either side of his face, she pulled his tall body down, into hers, and kissed him softly.

It didn't take longer for Kira to reciprocate her actions, it had, after all, been what he had bee dreaming about for the past two years.

Lacus pulled away from him at a loss for breath, and panting, she nodded to the front door, which was still lying open.

Kira took the hint and slammed the door closed wit his foot. Lacus giggled slightly.

"That," she told him, "was cute." Kira grimaced, his eyebrows arching down into a frown.

"What? Me? Cute?" he asked, faking shock. Lacus shrugged.

"I guess. Cagalli told me by the way." She told him, and Kira's face contorted with confusion.

"Sorry… what?"

"Cagalli told me where you lived… you asked earlier… well a least tried to, before I-" Lacus stared, a blush rising rapidly to her cheeks.

"Kissed me with a passion so strong, that it could _only_ be… love?" Kira added.

"Yeah," Lacus laughed.

"So those two…"

"Yeah…" Lacus held up her left hand and waggled her fingers at him.

"Ouch, that must have hurt; I know how much you loved that damned ring." Kira told her, grimacing once again and laughing slightly at her enthusiasm.

"Oh well," Lacus shrugged, staring down at her free finger, "we both needed… no, wanted it. It was worth it, because now I get to be a single woman again!" She broke into a wide grin at saying this, and laughed freely along with Kira.

Lacus let out a girlish scream as she was swept off her feet and into Kira's arms.

"Not for long… you're mine now…" Kira told her, laughing at her weak attempts to escape.

"Let ME down!" Lacus screamed playfully, but Kira silenced her with a chaste kiss on the lips.

"That shut you up," he laughed and then added, "fine, I'll let you down." He dropped her small body onto the couch, and without wasting any time, he was on top of her in seconds.

"Mmmm…" he groaned, "this is nice… I could get used to-"

Lacus interrupted him with a mind-blowing kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, whilst his snaked around her waist, tugging her body gently into his.

Lacus' hands shot to his hair, tangling in the unruly mane, as she replayed the recent events in her head… over and over again.

"Hold on…" she pulled herself away from Kira slightly, and he rested his forehead on hers.

"Mmmhmm?" He murmured.

"Who's Rae?" She asked curiously, her eyebrows rising at him enquiringly.

"Hah," Kira laughed, "Never you mind," and he kissed her again.

This kiss, by far, cancelled out every other one they had shared. The intensity… the passion… desire and… love all mingled together as the couple finally became one… as their destinies had planned.

* * *

Review? PLEASE? 

Love y'all

Allura


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